To be (a virgin) or not to be (a virgin)…
Given that the shape and form of the hymen varies from woman to woman and that some women are born without it, and that many women don’t bleed the first time they have sexual intercourse…Would someone PLEASE tell me why blood holds such importance to some cultures?
Myrtus posted earlier this week, in response to a Reuters article which discussed a 19-year-old Moroccan woman’s choice to restore her hymen by undergoing hymen reconstructive surgery (otherwise known as hymenoplasty, or correctly, hymenorrhaphy). Personally, I find this no less sickening than the clitorectomy or genital mutilation of women in general.
The major monotheistic religions all dictate that both men and women should be virgins on their wedding day. If this is the case, why are only women held accountable? A Moroccan custom, also popular in other Arab countries, is to display the blood stained sheet shortly after the marriage is consummated (Elizabeth Warnock Fernea mentions this in Guests of the Sheik, and I believe Paul Bowles has written on the subject as well). A friend who was in the Peace Corps told me about a day that he came across a sheet so soaked in blood that he was sure the couple had slaughtered a chicken in panic when the new bride didn’t bleed.
I’m sure you can guess my opinion on this, but just in case…I find it absolutely absurd that a woman must risk her life in an illegal clinic just so that her future husband’s masculinity and ego can get a little boost when he makes love to her for the first time and finds that she has bled (but in this case, because unhygienic string sutures have been ripped from her vagina).
May 7th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
irreverent e iconoclast
http://telamamaria.blogspot.com
Thank
May 7th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
That’s one thing I think Moroccan society needs to be retaught. I’ve met many Moroccan men who believe in the ‘hymen’ myth. I think a lot of it has to do with ’sex education’. AAAnd I don’t know why men are exempt from being virgins eithers.. That’s SO sexist and ignorant. Not to mention this adds another annoying question/stereotype to the list of things people come up and ask me, even at WORK!
May 7th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
[…] The Morocco Report’s taamarbuuta agreed with Myrtus, saying, “I’m sure you can guess my opinion on this, but just in case…I find it absolutely absurd that a woman must risk her life in an illegal clinic just so that her future husband’s masculinity and ego can get a little boost when he makes love to her for the first time and finds that she has bled (but in this case, because unhygienic string sutures have been ripped from her vagina).” […]
May 7th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
i had some friends who got married last year, and they made no secret of the fact that they planned to slaughter a chicken. they did it as a sort of protest. i’d rather they have forgone the whole thing, but it was a pretty effective way of showing their disdain for this grotesque ritual nonetheless.
May 11th, 2007 at 3:58 am
You can use a chicken liver, slit, with a little blood packet inside it. He’ll be none the wiser.
May 23rd, 2007 at 3:41 pm
this is just absurd to me, but its happening in many countries even in europe and not only in arab countries! this is just made such a big deal for the girls from the side of their parents, mostly fathers, and comunity.