Ifrane on Saturday nights is a madhouse. Imagine all of the wealthy Al Akhawayn University students who didn’t go home for the weekends, add a dash of scantily-clad girls from Azrou, a pinch of Meknassis, and a sprinkle of tourists and you’ve got the weirdest nightclub scene in the country (perhaps).

Last night, fueled by a delicious dinner at my favorite spot, Le Pub, three of us headed out in a lovely new Seat on the windy, dangerous road to Ifrane. We arrived a little past midnight, only to find that popular club Tilleuls was over their limit. We argued with bouncers and a female manager, all of whom told us that we wouldn’t be entering. Since I was with two Moroccan men, we even tried to pull the tourist ticket on my behalf, but that didn’t work.

Slightly crestfallen, we wandered around the corner to the Grand Hotel, a beautiful chalet-style hotel that would look more at home in the mountains of Switzerland and is home to a bizarre basement spot called “Library Club.”

The club was filled, filled with girls, not prostitutes, who had come in from the neighboring villages and towns (and while I say they’re not prostitutes, I’ve been informed that many of them are still, you know, looking for fun). Very few university students were present, although there were a few from the fac in Meknes, as Hamza ran into some friends. Drinks were everywhere, the smoke filled the air, the heat was on, and so was the techno.

The bizarre part in all this, I think, is that the hotel is expensive (1200 dirhams per night - we considered booking a room for Valentine’s Day) and mainly caters to tourists, but the din from the nightclub is so loud that I’m sure it can be heard in the first-floor rooms.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed it more than I would have Tilleuls, had it not been full. If ever you’re in Ifrane and want to experience a bit of Moroccan youth nightlife - check out the Library Club. Apparently the hotel has a lovely restaurant as well.

To book a room, e-mail the Grand Hotel and Spa Ifrane at grandhotelspaifrane@menara.ma

For other hotels in Morocco, check out Morocco Savvy

This afternoon, I was fortunate to be visited in Meknes by the lovely Diane, who is at Al Akhawayn in Ifrane on a specialist Fulbright. I actually found her on her blog and invited her up, which could be good or bad news for the rest of you, depending on how you look at it.

We had a lovely day, first visiting Volubilis or Oualili (the Roman name was Volubili, so my guess is that both others are just bastardizations; in my attempt at confirming that fact, I found all sorts of incorrect information - my favorite being that Oualili was a “flourishing Berber town” - so I suppose I’ll leave you to your own googling devices. Or you could read the entire Enyclopediae Brittanica).

Storks-n-columns

Then we picked up and had lunch with Hamza at one of my favorite Meknes restaurants, Serenity. After that, we visited the recently re-done (new exhibit!) Palais Jamai Museum…

…Where this cat fell in love with me, as all cats eventually do…

S/he was quite lovely, prancing around the courtyard:

Tourists will be happy to see that Meknes finally opened a tourist office near the medina (specifically, at the first little kiosk in Place Hedim):

(I couldn’t resist taking a picture of all these women, but that kiosk behind them is the tourist office - note the lovely stained glass).

The perfect end to a perfect day (my concierge, MC Hamid as we call him, helped me out on this one)

I can’t promise I won’t lead you to my favorite rug shop or make you eat street popcorn with me, but if you want to visit Meknes, I can promise I’ll show you a good time!

p.s. Wikipedia says: “Volubilis takes its name from the Berber name Alili meaning Oleander flower”

You’ve seen the Meknes Bar Report.  But I suppose you have no idea where to eat in Meknes!  Sadly, Meknes is not the restaurant mecca that its larger sisters Marrakech and Rabat purport to be, but she holds her own compared to Fez at least.  So without further ado, I bring you…

The Meknes Restaurant Report

Le Pub (Allal ben Abdellah) - My personal favorite, for the sheer fact that salmon roleaux are on the menu.  Their steak is so juicy, it’s probably not halal, and they have a full wine list and bar.  The downstairs “club” of sorts is a bit rowdy, with a live band, noise which occasionally assaults your ears in the dining area, but it’s of no matter - the lasagne quatre fromages or the cotelete avec champignons make it worth it.

Palais Didi (medina) - My favorite of the medina choices (though I admit that I have not yet eaten at Ryad Bahia).  The food isn’t even that spectacular, but this renovated guesthouse-riad has the best atmosphere and the best views from the rooftop.  If you order the tajine for your whole party, it will be fantastic, but the other choices weren’t so stellar.

Les Colliers de la Colombe (medina) - Another incredible view, but this time it overlooks the dry Oued Boufekrane and Meknes’ ville nouvelle (Hamrya).  The steaks were too fatty, but try the b’stila - to die for.  The best part is that this fancy restaurant is nowhere near as overpriced as the palace restaurants of Fez.

Grilladiere - Moving into the next class of restaurants, Grilladiere is Morocco’s equivalent of say, TGI Friday’s.  Clean, somewhat out of the way (I don’t recall the street name), but with a delicious menu of brochettes, Frenchy salads, pizza, and even a “poissonerie,” Grilladiere is a good bet, particularly with family or for lunch.  They also deliver!

Pizzeria Le Four (near the Amir Abdelkader train station) - Styled with Italian woodworking, low ceilings, and a fake rose on table, the pizza here is delicious and I believe they have draught beer.  Quite tasty onion soup as well, and good prices.

Quik (Route de Fez, Kumbata) - A bit out of the way, but a great stop if you’ve got a car and are heading in the direction of Fez.  The specialties are pizza and Vietnamese.  You heard me right.  Try the Vietnamese soups and the Jardiniere pizza.

Serenity (Ave. Mohammed V) Another of my favorites.  This place is bright and sunny, the servers are highly competent, and they serve pizza, pasta, tajines, panini, crepes - you name it.  The salads and desserts are the best in Meknes, and in the summer, their rooftop patio is absolutely lovely day or night.

Label’ Gallery - Why am I mentioning fast food?  Because if you’re in Meknes for quite some time, you might start craving it and McDonald’s is atrocious just like everywhere in the world.  And because it’s the only really “foreign” food in town - there’s Petit Libanais (excellent), Bangkok Cafe (delicious) and Nachos y Tacos Tex Mex (um, only the fajitas are edible).  We get delivery from Bangkok frequently - the salade Vietnamienne is so good I can’t resist it.

Midway Pizza - Delicious pizza but virtually no seating area.  There’s one in Fez as well.

I give each and every one of those the seal of approval.  There are a few other nice places, but I haven’t tried them out yet.  Restaurant Bellevue is one, but it’s only open for lunch and has a bar, so I’m waiting for a long day off to really try it out.  Another is some new hotel out by Marjane, but without a car, it’s pointless, as taxis don’t often run after Marjane closes.  I’ll keep you posted.

Debunking Morocco’s “Expert Advice”

I’ve got to say, I’m quite tired of Morocco “experts.” This is a class of people - some of whom are foreigners, others are Moroccans, most often with little grasp of English beyond “You are welcome in Morocco,” but all of whom think they know it all and most certainly do not.

Mind you, I dispense advice on Morocco like it’s going out of style. I’ve been known to hang around Yahoo Answers and the Lonely Planet Thorn Tree forum, but ever since I became aware of the expert phenomenon, I’ve been careful to state that anything coming out of my mouth (or IP address) is my opinion. I’m not passing anything off as universal truth, but I do believe that I often give correct answers.

So the individuals on those sites are of course subject to incorrect answers at times, and to be fair, both sites are forums, bound to get a variety of answers to every question asked. I understand, I sympathize.

What I do not sympathize with is when someone actually calls him or herself a travel expert and proceeds to answer a question incorrectly on a prominent news site, such as this example from the Times Online, web version of the UK’s best selling newspaper. Their Travel “Your Say” column is based upon questions sent in by readers, which are then answered by a travel “expert” (who actually remains nameless on my site - good for him/her, as my critique is nothing s/he’d want his/her name attached to). Here’s today’s Q&A:

We are visiting Marrakech in February, and arrive in late at night with British Airways. As it’s not possible to get any local currency before we get to Morocco, can we exchange money at the airport, as we need some straight away for a taxi? Name Withheld by The Morocco ReportA Sunday Times travel expert responds: The Moroccan Dirham isn’t available outside of the country, but don’t worry, even arriving late you have several options.

The bank in the arrivals hall at Marrakech’s airport closes at about 6pm, but there are several ATM machines that you can use. Alternatively, Euros are the best currency to take, either in the form of travellers cheques, or in cash. Taxi drivers at the airport, in common with many other shops and restaurants in the city, often accept Euro notes.

That being the case, you should be aware of the current exchange rate against the Euro (in January 2007, 1 Euro = about 11 Dirhams), and as the lowest fare you are likely to be offered from a Petit taxi is 50 Dirhams; that’s 5 Euros. For the larger taxi’s, you’ll should settle for about 100 Dirhams.

Now, the question is reasonable. It’s true that obtaining Moroccan currency outside of Morocco is illegal very difficult (thank you commenter!) without loads of money to exchange.  And there are no stupid questions, only stupid people answers.

So what’s wrong with the answer exactly? Here’s my line-by-line analysis:

Alternatively, Euros are the best currency to take, either in the form of travellers cheques, or in cash.

Hmm…okay. Now, Euros probably are the best currency to take, but the original question was from a Brit, and I can tell you that pounds are equally useful and acceptable in Morocco. As far as travellers cheques are concerned, well, I thought they were all but obsolete! And here in Morocco, the only place they’d be of any use is at the bank, where they can be exchanged for dirhams at a terrible rate. It’s much better to simply bring your ATM card and some cash in dollars, pounds, or euros (the latter being the most popular but not necessary if you’re coming from the States or the UK).

Taxi drivers at the airport, in common with many other shops and restaurants in the city, often accept Euro notes.

While that’s not entirely untrue, it’s neither a good idea. First of all, few shops and restaurants in the city accept Euros (I have no personal experience using Euros in taxis, so I can’t really say), but more important, you will absolutely not get a good price if you’re using Euros! The currency of Morocco is the dirham, and Euros should only be used in an emergency! Flashing Euros to shopkeepers will do no good in the bargaining process, I can say that with an air of certainty.

That being the case, you should be aware of the current exchange rate against the Euro (in January 2007, 1 Euro = about 11 Dirhams), and as the lowest fare you are likely to be offered from a Petit taxi is 50 Dirhams; that’s 5 Euros.

The exchange rate is correct, but the taxi information is a huge thorn in my side! Now, all over Morocco, taxis are required by law to use meters. In practice, this doesn’t happen, therefore the taxi rate in Marrakech has rapidly increased over the past few years…but why? I’ll tell you - because tourists don’t bother to do their homework and don’t bargain with the taxi drivers, making it difficult on the rest of us foreigners who make dirhams! A petit taxi in most Moroccan cities should use their meter, which starts at 3.20dh during the day (with a minimum charge of 5dh), and increases by 50% at night.

That said, because of bad behavior on the part of tourists in Marrakech, some taxi drivers would rather drive away and find another unsuspecting foreigner than use their meter. But not all hope is lost - it is often possible to bargain the taxi driver down to around 20dh (it is true that most will start at 50dh), and with some Arabic, even 10dh.

To be clear, a metered petit taxi ride from the train station to the Djemaa al Fna should cost 10-12dh.

For the larger taxi’s, you’ll should settle for about 100 Dirhams.

Blatant spelling error (taxi’s, anyone?) aside, this is also ridiculous information. I have personally never paid more than 50dh for a grand taxi in Marrakech, and that was for just three people (grand taxis in Morocco are old Mercedes and can fit - albeit uncomfortably - six passengers, who pay by the seat). A full grand taxi at the Moroccan price, driving from the train station to a medina location should cost more like 60dh than 100dh. If you have less than the full amount but still want the taxi, 50dh is a reasonable price to settle on.

Next issue of Debunking? Let’s just say I’m looking for bad articles about visiting the hammam.

The View from Fez just published a short article on the King’s new initiatives here in Meknes - namely, a treatment plant for used water and a new generator just for us (which makes me wonder where the current one is) - the latter is especially important considering how often the lights seem to go out, particularly in the medina.

As Samir wrote in his article, Meknes is a bit sensitive to being referred to as Fez’s little sister (and myriad other nomenclatures given to this diminutive city).  While it’s true that our medina is smaller, our people historically less prestigiously educated (though some might say less snobby!), and our ville nouvelle lacks the swank Meridien and other Fassi hotels, I believe I was a bit unfair in my last article when I said that Meknes lacks charm.

Seven babs (gates) grace the medina, we have a place that used to (and could still) rival the Djemaa al Fna of Marrakech, of which the walkways were recently renovated from shabby and broken concrete blocks to lovely brickwork, and our spice market is perhaps the best in Morocco.  We have a pool (Heri es-Souani or the “Agdal Basin”) not unlike Marrakech’s Menara, and the finest Moroccan horses are born and bred at the Haras, or stud farm.  We have all the necessary tourist amenities (Zaki Hotel rivals any fancy foreign chain, and my Meknes Bar Report will send you in the direction of drinks) and Meknassis are plenty hospitable - not to mention you won’t get a fraction of the hassle found in the medinas of other cities this size.

And if you’re lucky, you’ll get to see the festival of lights, which gives a new meaning to Samir’s post - set up for the king’s visit, the whole city is decked out with varieties of this:

And tonight, for the first time in November, we finally got some rain.

On Sunday (it should’ve been on Saturday, but we’re pretty sure that the man who determines the moon here is partly blind), Morocco celebrated the 1st of the Hijra (Islamic lunar) year, 1 Moharrem.  Had it been on Saturday, I would’ve had a day off work, but as it landed on what was already my day off, my houseguest Sarah and I decided to take a brief jaunt to two of my favorite Moroccan towns…Ifrane and Azrou.

We started the day in beautiful Ifrane where, as you can see, the sky was a clear blue.

They were raising flags in case the King came through.

Azrou was also full of color.

This crown rests atop a natural rock formation just outside the city center.

Photographing the photographer (Sarah)

Man in djellaba.

Azrou’s central mosque.

And delectable spice market.

A beautiful end to a beautiful day.

Go to any travel forum and you’ll find questions just like this.  The age and nationality (but never the hair color) vary, but the questions follow the same pattern of sheer, utter terror when it comes to visiting Morocco.  Although my true desire is to scream, “NO, YOU’RE NOT!  DON’T COME!” my honesty and desire for money to filter into Morocco gets the best of me and I only reply in a slightly snarky manner.

The most absurd thing, however, is how defensive I get of Moroccans when this question is asked.  I mean, the truth is that I always feel SAFE in Morocco, but I certainly don’t always feel at ease, relaxed, comfortable, unbothered, or any number of other delightful adjectives.   So why my defense?  There’s a number of reasons.

#1 And people say Moroccans treat tourists badly.

Which is not entirely untrue, of course.  Moroccans frequently up their prices threefold for tourists (which is in my opinion justifiable, but that’s not the point); tourists, on the other hand, often deserve it.  Not because they’re so wealthy or anything trite like that - because the tourists treat the Moroccans like crap!  This is most prevalent in Marrakech; I remember a time last November…I was in Marrakech for a couple of days for a conference and had a bit of time to shop, so I was running around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to find the exact items I needed.  At my last stop, intent on buying two Moroccan shirts, I waited behind a British tourist purchasing a djellaba.  The shopkeeper (as many in Marrakech do) spoke perfect English and told her the djellaba would cost 300 dirhams.  She, of course, found this price absurd and took the advice of the guidebooks and bargained.  “200,” she said.  Now, any veteran knows that it’s important for anyone, tourist or otherwise, to cut the initial cost in half to start one’s bargaining, but regardless, she did her duty.  The man replied, “290,” not being a man of large increments.  After a bit of back and forth, they eventually agreed on 250 dirhams which is a decent price for a Brit if you ask me.  The woman stepped out of the shop for a moment to speak with her friend (small shop, nowhere to stand) then returned and said “I only have 200 dirhams.”  Djellaba already in hand, she gave the man the cash and walked out before he had a chance to say anything.

My eyes must have been popping out of my head, because the man laughed and said it happens all the time.  And then, after engaging him in a brief, simple and polite Arabic conversation, he priced each shirt I’d chosen at 50 dirhams each (which is extremely reasonable for a tourist).  I said “45 each,” he said “done” and I went on my merry way, knowing that I’d just paid somewhere around what my husband would pay in another city.   Which brings me to my second point…

#2 - Bitch, please.  The whole world doesn’t have to speak English.

This coming from me, a girl who just recently picked up a second language, and not even fluently.  Even better - I don’t speak anything fluently aside from English, but I manage to garner respect no matter where I travel.  It’s really not too difficult - learn “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” “how much,” and the numbers in any language, and you’re good to go.  Now, I can’t say I always play by this rule - when visiting Germany and the Czech Republic this year, I didn’t get beyond please or thank you because everyone seemed so eager to speak English.  There, it was a reasonable request, given that English is the second language of both countries.  But in Morocco, where the second language is French, it makes a huge difference if you can speak a few words of that or Arabic.

I’m not a boastful person, however, when I meet other foreigners who’ve just been shopping, I’m always tempted to ask (and sometimes do) how much they paid for items which I’ve purchased in the past.  More often than not, I find that I paid somewhere between 70 and 90 percent of what they paid.  A “Touareg” scarf, which is priced anywhere between 20 and 50 dirhams in the big cities, should only cost about 15-20 and shouldn’t bleed too badly when washed.  Bilgha (babouches), Moroccan slippers, can cost a tourist up to 120dh (depending on quality of course) but should only cost 40-50dh.

Why the discrepancy if we’re all white and look to be about the same income level (and age)?  The fact is, if you don’t make the effort to appreciate Morocco and Moroccans (which requires a little bit of language skill), sellers have no reason to respect your wallet.  A little “Salam aleikum” will go a long way.  So will dressing properly…

#3 - Outside of Agadir, you oughtta leave your shorts at home, girl.

I wish I could show you photographs of some of my Moroccan students.  I have a few who saunter into class wearing knee-high stiletto boots, miniskirts, midriff showing, big gaudy earrings, way too much makeup - sometimes I’m almost certain they’re headed to work afterward, if you know what I mean.  Sixteen-year-olds!  In fact, they’re just exercising one of the few freedoms that teenage girls have - dressing as they like.

You do not have that same freedom.  Well, you do of course, but I can guarantee you’re going to get ten times the hassle they do.  Why?  For one, you’re not Moroccan, two you’re probably not Muslim, and three, you may very well look like the girls they see in those favorites of Western film, girls who tend to have few scruples.

So how can you avoid being mistaken for that kind of girl?  Not dressing like that kind of girl, of course.  It can be frustrating in some ways, wanting to be yourself and not hold anything back - but I’ve found that being myself even in terms of fashion is possible, if I follow a few ground rules:

-Don’t wear anything that falls more than an inch above the knee (men, just don’t wear shorts please - they look stupid anyway).

-Your breasts are far sexier than your upper arms - worry less about long sleeves and more about cleavage.

-Don’t cover your hair - most Moroccan girls don’t and if you’re not otherwise dressed Islamically, you’ll just look stupid.  Besides, hijabis get hit on by Moroccan men too, you know.

-You can be as colorful as you want in your own style, but wearing Moroccan clothes will mostly just make you stand out.

I wear short sleeves, I wear my hair down, I wear jeans nearly every day.  I only don a djellaba on the occasional Friday for couscous, and I never wear jewelry other than earrings, my wedding ring, and a small necklace.  Am I still myself?  Certainly.  Am I drawing a whole lot of attention?  Well, not for that reason anyway.

Yesterday, my husband and I took a trip to the American Consulate to start some immigration stuff (have no fear, we’re not going anywhere anytime soon, but as citizenship would allow for him to continue our nomadic aspirations, it’s our best option). Now, I don’t like Casa very much, but I couldn’t believe I’d never seen the Twin Towers or photographed any of the fantastic architecture. So, I experimented with car-window photography. Here are the slightly odd results (and Casa is, I’ve decided, one of the strangest places in this country):

On the road again…(Why does it always feel like we’re on Mars?)

From the road…

Slightly varying masjid architecture…

Horses on the overpass?

The world’s largest banquette? (text: Richbond, the name of the company)

An attempt to photograph things that would be interesting to me were it not my thousandth time seeing them.

A bit of color in a rather drab city…

The slightly impressive Twin Center.

This little kid was hilarious - he approached us selling gum for 5 dh. My partner in donkey-riding crime bought a pack, then proceeded to engage the kid for a few minutes. I remarked that he was “so little” and the youth mimicked back, “So little.” He continued to do this for a few minutes, then moved onto his next quest. As he was parked outside of a fancy department store and it was 3:00 pm, I have a feeling his mother was nearby.

Odd sight in a Muslim country, aye?

This fella was pretty close to our car.

This mosque actually SPARKLES!

(Here’s where our sense of direction got messed up)

Say “Sidi Moumen” and most people here will automatically think of it as where the terrorists live…In the past few years, the suburb of big bad Casablanca has made news for being where the Madrid and Casablanca bombers are from, for having curfews imposed on its residents by Islamic parties, and for its extreme poverty. As we discovered yesterday upon getting lost on our way to the autopiste, it’s not somewhere I’d want to end up…

How foreboding…

It doesn’t look so bad from here.

Construction in this method is a fairly normal sight, but in Sidi Moumen most of the buildings look to be in this state.

Narrow homes…

Blurry sheep.

Espace Sportif et de Distraction de Sidi Moumen.  Does “distraction” have a different implication in French?

And on our way home, more of those awful trucks.  This one in particular, carrying three layers of Butagaz (used for cooking, heating water, and heating the house -  highly necessary), almost ran us over.

Next time, I’m heading south.

On the LP Thorntree, people are always asking about where they can get a drink in this city or that city…I can honestly tell you I’ve only drunk once in Fez (at the Palais Jamai, hello 55dh Heineken!), and in Marrakesh have always preferred to purchase my own wine and take it to wherever I’m staying.  Rabat is dead after 10 pm, and I don’t set foot in Casa unless I have to.  But Meknes, ah Meknes!  For such a two-horse town, you’d be surprised at the great number of drinking holes.

My personal favorite is Novelty.   For those of you who’ve been to Morocco, I’m sure you’re all too familiar with the big ugly bars with perhaps an Amstel sign and pastel-painted door out front; the kind no woman in her right mind would ever set foot inside.  Novelty used to be one of these; somehow and for no known reasons, an older Italian man bought it out and fixed it up with some nice woodwork, good food, TAPAS, cheap prices, and get this - draught beer!  It’s quite lovely, I feel totally comfortable there with Hamza or alone, and I’ve never gotten sick from the food.  Additionally, they stay open quite late and they have Corona for less than 50dh - a rarity in this country.  (Rue de Paris, Hamrya)

A next good bet, though pricey, is the classy Le Pub.  All sorts of rumours have flown about this place, but I have confirmed not one of them.  There’s a bar upstairs with a nice restaurant (which serves real STEAK!) and a rousing bar downstairs with a house band.  They also serve prawn crackers.  I take all visiting foreigners to this place.  Try the lasagna, the steak, or the crab ravioli, and please…have a cognac, just because you can (Allal ben Abdellah, Hamrya)

Hotel Rif is another favorite, perhaps because their shisha is cheap and so are their beers.  Usually live music, plenty of snacks going around (including CHEESE), and lovely seating.  Kind of sketchy, but what bar in Morocco isn’t? (Antisirabe, Hamrya)

Other good bets:

Hotel de Nice - tiny bar, good snacks, no hassle, cheapish beer.

Zaki Hotel - Would be more highly recommended if it weren’t so far; plus, the bar is overpriced and somewhat boring.

Hotel Ibis - only if you’re jonesing for a panini with your beer.

Hotel Transatlantique - Only in summer, when there’s a fantastic medina view served up with your 50dh Heiny.

Hotel Malta- the bar’s too loud but it’s got some of the cleanest bathrooms in the city!

Photos from our trip to Marrakesh (April 1-5, 2006)

The pirate-like roof of our riad, Riad Chorfa.

Djemaa al-Fna, of course!

Inside our gorgeous riad courtyard.

Our riad mascot.  With a rose petal.  How romantic!

I LOVE camels!  The one in the back was scratching his neck; look closely.

A gorgeous fountain at La Menara.

Frequent exclamation re: this cat…”He’s dead!”  He wasn’t.  But he rarely moved.

TV in petit taxi.  WTF?

Wave goodbye!